• Inspiration
• Scene Breakdown

Inspiration

The Body is The Soul is The Body

Jujutsu Kaisen's theories about the body and the soul was something that I thought about constantly when I was writing.I talk about this more in "Scene Breakdown" but the final Gojo and Megumi embrace means so much more because even though Megumi's body is possessed, Gojo's hug still reaches his soul :")

On Parent-Child Relationships

Parent-child relationships are something I love to explore in my writing, because children will inevitably end up exactly like their parent, no matter how much they try not to or don't want to.Although not central to the fic, there is some sort of father-son relationship between Gojo and Megumi.In particular, Megumi possesses an awareness that he takes after Gojo in many ways. Although their personalities are different, there are quite a few similarities between them. Especially from a narrative standpoint, which kind of makes me really sad.

Songs

"As a Child" by Madeline The Person.It's one of my favourite sad songs and I listened to it a lot as I wrote this."This Is A Life" from the soundtrack of Everything Everywhere All At Once.This song is constantly on repeat, always. It never fails to inspire me. The final lyric is particularly poignant: "With the weight of eternity, at the speed of light, this is a life."그렇게 살아가는 것 (So life goes on) by Heo Hoy Kyung.I adore this song. It explores the conflicting emotions and experiences we encounter as we navigate daily existence.

A Few Characterisation Notes

- Megumi is forced to grow up quickly, so oftentimes he acts like an adult in a child's body. However, he still has the maturity of a teenager. This affects his emotional stability and his ability to deal with immense stress.- Gojo, on the other hand, is a child in an adult's body. Although he does mature as he grows older, he's not good at dealing with emotional vulnerability from others. In addition, his overwhelming strength makes it so he can only sympathise and not empathise.- Megumi loves and cares for Tsumiki, but he's a little bit of a brat in his teenage years, so he does treat her quite coldly. He comes to regret this when she gets cursed.- Megumi is extremely self aware. This is both a strength and a weakness.

• Scene Breakdown
• Back

Scene Breakdown

INTRODUCTION

"Gojo has been an enigma to Megumi, a multifaceted man with a single-minded kind of drive, the kind that could save a nation or the kind that could kill it."I'm really proud of this line, and the whole intro in general really. I wanted to show that Megumi will never truly understand Gojo because Gojo always keeps a part of himself guarded.Megumi thinks of Gojo as the strongest because it is a plain fact. But when it comes down to who Gojo is to Megumi specifically, Megumi has a harder time defining that."Megumi tells the stranger the same story he’s told everyone, the one about how his dad and Tsumiki’s mom left them to live together somewhere else. It isn’t a sad story like many people assume it is, it’s just how things are."I find this such an interesting little tidbit about Megumi's character. In canon, whenever he talks about his dad or Tsumiki's mom, he always says that they "had enough of Tsumiki and him, so they went to live somewhere else."It's such a naive, child-like thing to say and I wonder if it's something that Tsumiki told him when he was younger to protect his feelings

AN OLDER BROTHER

This section was really fun to write because of how young and immature both Megumi AND Gojo are. There are two main things I wanted to accomplish in this section.1. Megumi's view of Gojo slowly evolving from an annoying older sibling to that of a guardian / parental figure.2. Gojo slowly growing more fond of Megumi and treating him more gently."“Yep. I’m gonna give you a piggyback ride,” Gojo answers, shrugging like it was obvious. He holds his arms out behind him, wriggling his stupid fingers and beckoning Megumi over like he’s some sort of cat."This piggyback moment is a very deliberate parallel to the final scene where, instead of Megumi latching on tightly to Gojo, Gojo latches onto Megumi to give him that final hug.But also, this is the moment where Gojo realises that he can't push Megumi too far because Megumi is still a child. He deserves to be treated like one and loved like one."For now though, he’s at the age where aimlessness is alright. The stakes aren’t high, so he’s allowed to not be sure. Maybe he has Gojo to thank for that."This line is so important to me. I wanted to show that Megumi didn't have to grow up too fast because he had Gojo there to let him experience a semblance of childhood. He doesn't have to think too seriously about his role as a sorcerer yet, and it's all thanks to Gojo

A FATHER FIGURE

This is the longest segment because I wanted to really dig into the similarities and parallels between Gojo and Megumi.For example, this line in the first of this section:"Because this is perhaps one of the ways that Megumi takes after Gojo: Grief comes secondary to action."Or this line later on:"But perhaps Gojo forgot that Megumi isn’t actually his child and that some traits are gained and not inherited. Where Gojo is assured, Megumi is hesitant. Where Gojo is tenacious, Megumi yields under pressure. Where Gojo possesses an immense sense of self preservation, Megumi finds it easier to be self-sacrificial. "Megumi acts like a "son" when he thinks about how he takes after Gojo. He takes after Gojo in some aspects and he's completely different in others, and he can't decide how he feels about that. There's also a lot of ego and pride involved, which becomes obvious when Megumi refuses to admit to Gojo that he is struggling.Gojo plays into the "traditional father role" in that he is horrible at communicating. He is an actions over words kind of guy, but as the story goes on, we can see that he does get better at communicating with Megumi.Everything comes to a boiling point in the birthday celebration scene.For Megumi's fifteenth birthday, Gojo plans this elaborate, over the top party, making sure to invite as many people over as possible. He does all of this because he's aware that this is Megumi's first birthday without his sister. He also knows Megumi has been isolating (heard from Shoko) so he's making sure Megumi knows he's loved."“You could have told me how you were feeling,” Gojo says, softly. “You could have asked me for help.”"When Gojo says this, he is thinking about Geto and how he failed to notice the signs that his one and only was suffering. I wanted to show that Gojo didn’t make the same mistake twice. He showed Megumi that he was there for him before it was too late.Then, after the dust settles and Megumi decides that it's alright to depend on Gojo a little more, the whole Itadori and Sukuna situation happens."Gojo may be the one negotiating for Itadori’s pardon, but the choice was made by Megumi alone. Saving Itadori may have been the most selfish decision Megumi has ever made. He’s worried that he’ll be subjecting Itadori to a life worse than death."The irony in all of this is that Megumi's decision to save Itadori probably reminds Gojo about his decision to spare Geto (the KFC breakup scene where Gojo let Geto walk free).Megumi fears the consequence of saving Itadori and in a way, Gojo already knows the outcome. After all, Gojo letting Geto walk free caused hundreds of deaths. But still, Gojo probably doesn't regret the choice he made that day, which is why he tells Megumi that saving Itadori was the right decision.This is one of the ways Megumi takes after Gojo, they both end up saving their future demise.

A MENTOR

There isn't much to this section. I just wanted to write about how incredible Gojo is as a teacher and how he cares so immensely about all of his students."What makes Gojo a good teacher isn’t his ability to teach, but his ability to bring out the best in his students. He treats everyone like his equal, the same way he’d treat Shoko or Nanami for example, which is why even though no one really respects him, they still listen to him."This is one of the reasons why Gojo is so endearing to me. Despite his god complex and god-like status, he doesn't treat his colleagues and students like they are beneath him.Gojo's entire goal is to create a better jujutsu world for the youth, and in this piece, we see it the clearest when it comes to Megumi.This section was also an excuse for me to push my itafushi agenda and write some scenes with the second years. Everything was too depressing I needed something happy.

AN ALLY

"“Were the Gojo and Zen’in families always on bad terms?” Megumi asks, hands in his pockets as he leans against the wall."This canon conversation between Gojo and Megumi always kills me because it's such obvious foreshadowing. Gege was always setting up a Gojo and Megumi fight...Anyway, this particular conversation links up the start and end of the fic, playing on the whole "hesitation, the presence of or the lack thereof, marks the start and end of their relationship" thing I wrote."Geto steps into this Trojan War nipping at heels with jagged teeth, unstitching old wounds, and Gojo stumbles just like Achilles does, the sight of his one and only akin to an arrow shot right through him; Suguru rises from the dead as someone else and Satoru comes crumbling down."I'm so proud of this paragraph, I really am. The "trojan war" obviously alludes to the Shibuya battle, "jagged teeth and unstitching old wounds" is a nod to Kenjaku using Gojo's one weakness against him. No one thought Achilles would fall, just like no one imagined Gojo could fall."Nanami, Nobara, Yaga – It’s strange to think about how he once knew these bodies lying in Shoko’s morgue.'I wrote this but do not be fooled, I do not believe Nobara is dead. Gege please bring her back please I need her back."But oh, Megumi must truly be Gojo’s kid because the people he loves all come back to him possessed."This line physically pained me to write. I thought of it while I was on the dentist chair and I was so afraid I'd forget it by the time my dentist was done shoving her hands into my mouth."It’s a little bit of everything, accumulated over the years, that comes crashing down on him. The day his father left him to fend for himself, the faces in his shadow, the first time he made his sister cry, the death of his white divine dog, the sight of Sukuna ripping Itadori’s heart out, the joy, the sorrow, the futility of it all."This whole portion takes heavy inspiration from the song "A Little Bit Of Everything" by Dawes, it's one of my favourite songs ever ever ever please go listen to it.

AN ENEMY

"Megumi braces himself for an attack but against all expectations, Gojo reaches out and pulls him into a bone-crushing hug. Familiar arms wrap around the shape of his soul and for a split second, Megumi is back in his body, long enough to feel Gojo’s hand rising to rest at the back of his head as he ruffles his hair."In the manga, Kenjaku mentions that the body and soul are one in the same. They are not separate, they will always exist together. So when Gojo goes to hug Megumi, he does so with so much raw emotion and intention that Megumi's soul feels it.

Like look at this image, Gojo's hand cradling Megumi's head, Megumi's wide eyes, like I SWEAR, in that moment, it was Megumi feeling Gojo's hug and not Sukuna.I really hate that I had to end the fic on an "unhappy" note but hey, blame Gege. If Megumi somehow gets saved after this and Gojo doesnt d-word, I will write a chapter two or a second fic from Gojo's POV and it will be so fucking happy.

• Inspiration
• Back